Be sure to read the rules first. Please and thank you.
A button will appear beneath each colorway that says “Buy Now.” When you click on the button, you’ll be taken to Paypal to pay for your item. You don’t have to pay with a Paypal balance, you can still use your credit card. In this case, Paypal acts as an intermediary and keeps your financial information private.
We’re using this system for this go round because it has excellent inventory control, unlike our regular shopping cart, which can oversell in times of high demand. When our new shopping cart system is up and running, we’ll be able to move our Carpe Yarnem stockings there.
The stocking times will be slightly staggered to mitigate system overload. If someone doesn’t follow through with a purchase after clicking “Buy Now,” the system will restock that item within a few moments. Please check back to see if there’s anything left instock later this afternoon.
Shipping is included in all prices — please choose the correct option based on your location.
Raspberry Cordial
Beautiful raspberry pinks, plum purples, burgundy wines, and small bits of ripe peach make up this kettle dyed colorway. Random color variation means that this would make a gorgeous shawl, shrug, or pair of socks. Twelve skeins are available, all dyed on Adorn Sock, our soft, squishy, and long-wearing fingering weight yarn. 80% merino wool, 20% nylon, 430 yards per skein.
Some skeins have a little more purple and burgundy, others have a little more raspberry pink, and still others have a little more peach showing.
Sold out, thanks everyone!
Persimmons
Persimmons is kettle dyed in a similar fashion to Raspberry Cordial. The colors are more muted an autumnal, with woodsy burnt oranges, brown, persimmon purple, and threads of deep blue. Five skeins are available, and all are dyed on our Carys BFL Sock, a blend of superwash Blue Faced Leicester wool and nylon. This yarn is hardy and soft at the same time, and has a lovely halo. 450 yards per skein, fingering weight.
Sold Out, Thanks Everyone!
Lilypad
Cheerful and whimsical — that’s what I think of when I see Lilypad. Fresh greens and pops of pale aqua will make a charming pair of socks of a lacy scarf. Two skeins are available, both are dyed on McClellan Fingering, a blend of merino, bamboo, and nylon. McClellan has a lovely sheen and drape, with no trace of scratchiness to irritate sensitive skein. Fingering weight, approximately 410 yards per skein.
Sold Out, You guys rock.
Loch Ness Garden
My seven year old insisted that this be called Loch Ness Garden, because it, “looked like a garden with flowers and evergreens near a mysterious deep lake. Maybe with a water horse.” These skeins were dyed with a unique process, and will knit up looking like a Monet painting, with small mosaics of color. Deep greens, blues, peaches, and pinks are present in different quantities in each skein. Blend the skeins together, or knit from lightest to darkest, depending on the effect desired.
Five skeins are available: three are dyed on our worsted weight Carys BFL, and two on our worsted weight Galenas Merino. (Click links for more information about each yarn type.)
Sold out, thanks to the awesomest people ever!
Fairy Forest
Mysterious and moody, Fairy Forest uses kettle dyeing to blend deep teals, kelly green, orange, pine, rust, and brown. Each skein varies slightly, and will yield random color variation through the skein. Three skeins are available, and all are dyed on our Springvale Super Merino.
All gone to new parents, thank you!
Seaglass
If no one wants this skein, I will be happy to keep it. Really.
This Frosted Solid has enough visual interest to hold your attention while knitting, but is subtle enough to not create distracting color patterning. Seaglass is a serene mixture of medium blues, greens, turquoises, and teals. One skein is available, and it was dyed on Adorn Sock.
Sea Glass has been adopted, thank you!
Woodland
These are my kind of colors. Turquoise, teal, hints of purple, pink, brown, and green. Kettle dyed in a splotchy, speckly way. Yum. Two skeins are available, both dyed on our worsted weight Galenas Merino. Sold in a set of two.
Woodland is sold out, many many thanks!
Strata
Like layers of igneous and sedimentary rock, Strata is comprised of natural, earthy colors. Coppers and browns are mixed with threads of greens and blues. Three skeins are available, and all are dyed on our Wexford Merino Silk, which lends a lovely gleam to this colorway.
Strata has gone to a new home.
Morning Glory
Like a breath of summer air, this one is. A lovely Frosted Solid that’s not too busy for an intricate pattern, Morning Glory mixes shades of lavender, lilac, and periwinkle. One skein is available, and it’s dyed on our 100% superwash merino Springvale Sport. Approximately 350 yards per skein, I think this knits up more like a heavy fingering weight.
Sold out, thanks again!
Tiara
Aptly named by my tea-party obsessed nearly three year old, Tiara gleams. Kettle dyed on McClellan Fingering, it’s comprised of silvery grey, amethyst purple, and aquamarine blue. Two skeins are available.
Bye bye, Tiara! Enjoy your new homes!
Rose Gold
A pink-copper-gold color, complete with shiny silk content and pink speckles that add interest as you knit them. One skein is available, and it was dyed on Wexford Merino Silk.
Rose Gold has been adopted!
Ten Thousand Lakes
This colorway is perfect for a pair of warm winter socks, for him or for her. Light teal, grey, mocha, subtle green, and golden brown are kettle dyed in this colorway. Two skeins are available, both dyed on McClellan Fingering.
Ten Thousand Lakes is sold out.
Jubilee
Cherries Jubilee and a bright spring day — that’s what this colorway conjures. Warm pink and red atop a base of pale blue. Jade green and bark brown balance the colorway. Two skeins are available, both are dyed on our McClellan Fingering.
Enjoy your new homes, Jubilee!
Chlorophyll
Last but not least, another skein I should be happy to add to my personal stash if none of you desire to adopt it. Chlorophyll is everything that’s leafy and beautiful and alive. Not unlike the view from my deck during the summer:
Or after a rainstorm:
A single skein is all I have. I wish there were endless supplies. Dyed on our lovely Adorn Sock, it makes my heart beat a little faster.
Chlorophyll is going to live with a new owner! Thank you!
Seize the Dye!
Previews are being posted all day today, so you can see what will be offered. I’ll be updating at the end of this post, so you’ll need to scroll down to see new previews. There are a total of 14 different colorways being previewed.
Some rules, if you’ll permit me.
1. This is for fun and for stash enhancement. Play nicely! Don’t make me turn this stocking around!
2. These skeins are one of a kind. I didn’t write down any recipes, I didn’t try to remember the recipes, these cannot be recreated.
3. Every skein is a little different. Even though I may have dyed 12 skeins of something together, they all turned out slightly differently. That’s the serendipity of the yarn. Embrace it. Breathe deeply and embrace the serendipity. Some might have a deeper concentration of one color or another. If you want to use the skeins together, it might be best to alternate them while knitting.
4. I take great care to portray colors accurately. I have a professional camera and photo editing software. I use diffused natural light. I have a graphics monitor. I calibrate the monitor with a colorimeter. In other words, the colors are as accurate possible. Unfortunately, I cannot see what you see and control what your monitor displays. I know that the color displayed by my laptops and smart phone are very different than my nifty graphics monitor. Please also read the descriptions to make sure that you know what you’re getting.
5. All of these skeins are instock and ready to rock. We’ll send them to you ASAP. No waiting, except for the post office.
6. Because these are one of a kind skeins, returns are not accepted, unless there is a defect in the yarn.
7. Have I mentioned play nicely? Play nicely.
8. The yarn will be available for purchase at noon Eastern time on Monday, February 8th. These previews will give you a chance to think about what you might like and to plan projects.
9. Most importantly, Carpe Yarnem. Seize the Dye while you can. And have fun. And play nicely.
Preview #1: Raspberry Cordial
Beautiful raspberry pinks, plum purples, burgundy wines, and small bits of ripe peach make up this kettle dyed colorway. Random color variation means that this would make a gorgeous shawl, shrug, or pair of socks. Twelve skeins are available, all dyed on Adorn Sock, our soft, squishy, and long-wearing fingering weight yarn. 80% merino wool, 20% nylon, 430 yards per skein.
Some skeins have a little more purple and burgundy, others have a little more raspberry pink, and still others have a little more peach showing.
Preview #2: Persimmons
Persimmons is kettle dyed in a similar fashion to Raspberry Cordial. The colors are more muted an autumnal, with woodsy burnt oranges, brown, persimmon purple, and threads of deep blue. Five skeins are available, and all are dyed on our Carys BFL Sock, a blend of superwash Blue Faced Leicester wool and nylon. This yarn is hardy and soft at the same time, and has a lovely halo. 450 yards per skein, fingering weight.
Preview #3: Lilypad
Cheerful and whimsical — that’s what I think of when I see Lilypad. Fresh greens and pops of pale aqua will make a charming pair of socks of a lacy scarf. Two skeins are available, both are dyed on McClellan Fingering, a blend of merino, bamboo, and nylon. McClellan has a lovely sheen and drape, with no trace of scratchiness to irritate sensitive skein. Fingering weight, approximately 410 yards per skein.
Preview #4: Loch Ness Garden
My seven year old insisted that this be called Loch Ness Garden, because it, “looked like a garden with flowers and evergreens near a mysterious deep lake. Maybe with a water horse.” These skeins were dyed with a unique process, and will knit up looking like a Monet painting, with small mosaics of color. Deep greens, blues, peaches, and pinks are present in different quantities in each skein. Blend the skeins together, or knit from lightest to darkest, depending on the effect desired.
Five skeins are available: three are dyed on our worsted weight Carys BFL, and two on our worsted weight Galenas Merino. (Click links for more information about each yarn type.)
Preview #5: Fairy Forest
Mysterious and moody, Fairy Forest uses kettle dyeing to blend deep teals, kelly green, orange, pine, rust, and brown. Each skein varies slightly, and will yield random color variation through the skein. Three skeins are available, and all are dyed on our Springvale Super Merino.
Preview #6: Seaglass
If no one wants this skein, I will be happy to keep it. Really.
This Frosted Solid has enough visual interest to hold your attention while knitting, but is subtle enough to not create distracting color patterning. Seaglass is a serene mixture of medium blues, greens, turquoises, and teals. One skein is available, and it was dyed on Adorn Sock.
Preview #7: Woodland
These are my kind of colors. Turquoise, teal, hints of purple, pink, brown, and green. Kettle dyed in a splotchy, speckly way. Yum. Two skeins are available, both dyed on our worsted weight Galenas Merino.
Preview #8: Strata
Like layers of igneous and sedimentary rock, Strata is comprised of natural, earthy colors. Coppers and browns are mixed with threads of greens and blues. Three skeins are available, and all are dyed on our Wexford Merino Silk, which lends a lovely gleam to this colorway.
Preview #9: Morning Glory
Like a breath of summer air, this one is. A lovely Frosted Solid that’s not too busy for an intricate pattern, Morning Glory mixes shades of lavender, lilac, and periwinkle. One skein is available, and it’s dyed on our 100% superwash merino Springvale Sport. Approximately 350 yards per skein, I think this knits up more like a heavy fingering weight.
Preview #10: Tiara
Aptly named by my tea-party obsessed nearly three year old, Tiara gleams. Kettle dyed on McClellan Fingering, it’s comprised of silvery grey, amethyst purple, and aquamarine blue. Two skeins are available.
Preview #11: Rose Gold
A pink-copper-gold color, complete with shiny silk content and pink speckles that add interest as you knit them. One skein is available, and it was dyed on Wexford Merino Silk.
Preview #12: Ten Thousand Lakes
This colorway is perfect for a pair of warm winter socks, for him or for her. Light teal, grey, mocha, subtle green, and golden brown are kettle dyed in this colorway. Two skeins are available, both dyed on McClellan Fingering.
Preview #13: Jubilee
Cherries Jubilee and a bright spring day — that’s what this colorway conjures. Warm pink and red atop a base of pale blue. Jade green and bark brown balance the colorway. Two skeins are available, both are dyed on our McClellan Fingering.
Preview #14: Chlorophyll
Last but not least, another skein I should be happy to add to my personal stash if none of you desire to adopt it. Chlorophyll is everything that’s leafy and beautiful and alive. Not unlike the view from my deck during the summer:
Or after a rainstorm:
A single skein is all I have. I wish there were endless supplies. Dyed on our lovely Adorn Sock, it makes my heart beat a little faster.
And that’s it for this Carpe Yarnem stocking! All of these will be available for purchase right here on the blog starting at 12:00 noon Eastern time tomorrow. Program your cell phone alarms now. Thank you for having a peek at my recent bout with Creativity!
This was supposed to be about colorways that were so bad they deserved to be declared extinct. Someday when I have an archivist — coughcoughnever — they’ll all be on display somewhere as “Three Irish Girls: the Ugly Period.”
But while I researching this post (can you believe I have to research my own hard drives for yarn pictures? I’ve been working on this for over an hour, that’s how many I have.), I came across this:
This is me with my three day old middle baby, B. B. is not her real name, she earned the name B. when my oldest child would talk to my belly. He couldn’t say the word baby, and called the impending arrival “B.” The name stuck, and we still call her B. as a nickname today.
3IG was also in its infancy during this time period. Miss B. was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen when she was born, and she must have believed the same of me, because she was very attached to me from the age of 10 seconds to the age of three years. She still loves mama, but no longer requires me to hold her 22 hours each day.
B. was adorable. And when I say adorable, I mean
HOLY HECK THAT CHILD WAS ADORABLE.
This is what she did all day long. Grinned hugely at me. Batted her long eyelashes. Talked baby talk. Played with yarn.
Grew a little bit of auburn hair. Decided her eyes needed to turn from baby grey to coppery brown. Grinned. Ate. Stayed awake if you tried to set her down. Slept if you held her. Grew kissable cheeks. Smiled. Cooed. Grinned.
When she would let me set her down, I did things like this:
Which was not nearly as cute as this:
Sigh.
Dear Future Archivist,
I am sorry that you will be forced to go through every 3IG picture in existence. I’m sorry my hard drives are so full. I’m sorry the yarn was so…unattractive.
Love,
Yarnista
****************************
Dear Readers,
I’m sorry that I’m boring you with kid pictures and burning holes in your retinas with fugly yarn.
Love,
Yarnista
***************************
Way back in the day, I wound all of my yarn into center pull balls. My husband helped, trooper that he was. Doing this required me to put the dry yarn on a swift, and then sit, straddle-legged against the coffee table where the winder was housed. When a skein of yarn had a tangle, this process could take over an hour per skein. Your arms and shoulders would be ready to fall off at the end of the day.
I had to have them surgically reattached several times.
I had special bands made to fit around the circumference of the yarn ball.
I remember working on this order in my kitchen — it was my first large order – late at night after the kids had gone to bed. I remember finishing all of this and realizing I had no place to put it all to be counted and packed into a box. So I took a clean quilt and laid it over my couch and gently put my the fruit of my blood, sweat, and tears on top of the quilt.
Just looking at this makes me feel two things: grateful and sore.
Grateful that the people who bought my yarn way back when saw through pictures like this:
to help get me where I am today, and sore because I vividly remember the backbreaking physical labor that went into that order.
Speaking of backbreaking physical labor, take a gander at our winter extravaganza, the likes of which Washington, DC has never seen.
I believe my car is under here somewhere. We got another 10″ (25+ cms) of snow after this picture was taken.
These hedges used to be 8-9 feet (2.4-2.7 meters) tall. Now they’re so heavy laden they’re only about three feet off the ground.
We got another ten inches after that picture was taken.
We have the most amazing oak trees in our backyard. My brother in law calls them Fairy Tale Oaks. They provide a leafy canopy over our back deck, and millions of acorns for deer and squirrels. (Do deer eat acorns? Deer sure love my yard.) I would estimate that these oaks are at least fifty feet tall (15+ meters).
All told, we got about 30″ (76 cms) of snow in the same number of hours. The storm system has finally moved out, but it will take days for the region to even have a semblance of normalcy again. Crews are out plowing single lanes down the main streets, and they’ve publicly announced that they won’t be able to even start the side streets for at least 36 more hours. I’m not sure when I’ll have access to the studio again — our building faces a large, sloping parking lot that will need to be plowed, and then we’ll have to go down and shovel out the entry way. We may be able to get in on Monday, depending on how quickly the parking lot is cleared. And that’s assuming we have power. 18,000 people in my county don’t have power.
In the meantime, I’m drinking tea and coffee and hot chocolate and yes, mom, I’m drinking water and eating apples. I’m knitting and watching movies and sorting my way through the 400 images I took for my first Carpe Yarnem stocking.
And that’s all the disjointed news that’s fit to print this evening. Snow. Babies. Yarn. Coffee. Sounds all right to me.
There she is.
Throughout my tenure in Washington, DC, people have called me Miss Minnesota. While I sported no tiara or evening gown, I was an ambassador of sorts. People on the East Coast believe Minnesota is a vast arctic tundra navigated only by dog teams and explorers wearing blimp-sized parkas.
“Does anyone actually live in Minnesota?” my students would ask. “What is there to do? Sit in the house? Stare at the wall?”
I grew up in the 32nd state, the Land of 10,000 Lakes. (Let’s make that 11,842 lakes over 10 acres in size.) “Yes, in fact, more than five million people live in Minnesota,” I would answer my students. Then I would tell them about the Mall of America, the world’s largest mall, complete with amusement park, aquarium, and more stores than you can visit in a weekend of shopping. I would remind them of the professional football, baseball, basketball, and hockey teams headquartered there. Minnesota morphed into Mecca, the land of never ending Super Bowl Sundays and vast food courts of burgers and fries.
Yes, Minnesota has some good shopping. And some good health care (Mayo Clinic, anyone?). And just a teeny tiny bit of fishing in the 11,842 lakes. And maybe, possibly, some hiking or hunting or canoeing in the more than two million acres of forest.
Minnesota is also home to Duluth.
Situated at the tip of Lake Superior, which is the largest freshwater lake in the world by some measures.
Duluth takes its name from a French fur trader who first explored the area in the 1600s, and in the 1800s was one of the most bustling cities in the United States. It was, and still is, home to the world’s largest inland port, and the westernmost point of the Atlantic shipping route.
My hometown is also home to the world’s largest freshwater sandbar, which at over six miles long, is wide enough for a road down the middle with houses and beaches on either side.
You may recognize the Aerial Lift Bridge, one of only two bridges ever built like it in the world (the other was dismantled in the 1930s). The Lift Bridge was built in 1905, and has been in continuous operation since then. It connects residents of the sand bar, called Park Point, with the mainland, and it also raises up to let boats and ships from all over the world into Duluth’s harbor to pick up iron ore and grain.
If you’re from Duluth, you would recognize this boat as a “thousand footer,” a boat that traverses the Great Lakes and measures over 1,000 feet in length. Thousand footers have a unique shape, and the public library there is built to mimic the same shape, with the U-shaped bow and the raised stern.
In the summer, the bridge raises and lowers 20-30 times a day, and in the winter once the shipping season has ended, hardly at all.
Duluth was once home to the largest population of millionaires per capita of any city in the United States, the shipping, mining, railroad, and timber industries having made wealthy men of smart investors. The city is sprinkled liberally with majestic century-old homes, many of them quarried red stone and brick. The most recognizable is the estate that once belonged to Chester and Clara Congdon, known as Glensheen.
This is but a small portion of their mansion found on the shores of Lake Superior. I volunteered here as a docent in college, and it was here that I came to take my sunrise pictures a few days ago.
In Minnesota, all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.
The Mississippi River begins in Minnesota, and is the dividing line between the cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul.
Minnesota is home to the largest community of Finnish people outside of Finland, and was initially settled almost entirely by Scandinavian immigrants. This Scandinavian heritage is still seen in the culture of the state, particularly the northern regions like Duluth, where the local meteorologists are named things like Sven, and a regular column in the newspaper is titled, Eh?
I could go on here, people. And I probably will on another day. Gosh darn it if I didn’t really earn the nickname Miss Minnesota. I don’t know why my brain stores this kind of information, but it does, and if something doesn’t stop me, I could ramble for hours. I can make a Minnesota connection out of just about anything. Pick a topic, any topic, and I will find a connection.
Try me, if you’re up for it. I will answer you in the comments.
I really must stop for now, I can feel the engines revving, and once they’re warmed up, they’re hard to shut down. Better to just turn off the ignition now and come back tomorrow evening, when I’ll have some old school yarn pics for you!
Clues about the secret mission. If you are astute and well traveled you might be able to figure out the clues.
Steam rising.
Yes. Ice can steam. You’ve seen it here first.
Even two minutes completely changes the color of the sunrise.
I should also like to point out that it was two degrees below zero when I stood outside, bravely mittenless, to take these pictures. That’s-19 Celsius for you non-imperialists.
I’ve practically given it away now.
Ready for the best clue?
Shazam.
Out of town and on a secret mission that will directly benefit you! Back on Wednesday night…
And you will not want to miss these!!!!!!
1. When you get to your hotel room, get undressed right away! It won’t matter that you left your suitcase in the lobby!!! Not at all!!
2. When you get to the airport, do not get something to eat, you’ll be able to make it through on one teeny bag of pretzels if there’s a three hour delay and they won’t let you off the plane because you could take off at any time! You will be just fine!!!!
3. Waste as little time as possible and build no wiggle room into your travel plans. If your plane is scheduled to land at 11:00, book your first meeting for 11:15! It will work out every time!!!!
4. Go ahead, wear down your phone battery before getting to the airport, because there will always be time to charge it while waiting in the terminal!!!
5. No need to call the hotel you’re scheduled to stay at directly to confirm the reservation, central booking has got everything covered! Plus, there are always more rooms available on Saturday nights!!!
I hope you will find these useful! Stay tuned for more amazing tips to make your life easier!!!
And I mean that in the nicest way possible.
The first thing is that I’m teaching a class in February, and you should come. The class is at a lovely yarn shop here in Maryland called
The Yarn Spot.
I’ve decided to teach about emergency preparedness for knitters.
I’m mostly kidding.
The class is called Knitting With Hand Dyed Yarn, and it will run the gamut from how to tell the difference between different dyeing techniques, what your yarn will look when knit up, how to change the look of your finished product, and choosing suitable projects for your hand dyed goodies.
Dinner will be served. Questions will be answered. The class is on Sunday, February 21st, and will run from 5:30-7:30. There are only 15 spaces available. If you’re interested, please call The Yarn Spot directly (301.933.9550), or email victoria@theyarnspot.com. If you’ve been reading this blog for long, you know that I recently left my first chosen profession of teaching, and am very much looking forward to keeping my feet wet with this class.
The next thing is that I’m loving looking at your projects in our Flickr Gallery. Keep the projects coming. They help me get through the day. I would love to have 1,000 projects in the gallery.
Today was club shipping day. Always busy, always satisfying. To see months of hard work fly away to new homes is incredibly fun. The studio looks forlorn, bereft even, after all the yarn is gone.
This month’s Stash Menagerie selection was a 50% silk/50% merino blend, and one of the color choices was a dynamic blue color called Mirth.
Serenity was very popular with the Sock Yarnistas.
And for good reason. It’s very serene.
Frolic was born to be something in my mother’s kitchen. She has an extensive collection of blue and white pottery, much of it authentic Delft. I should’ve called this colorway Delft.
And sometimes, when you’re not looking, the skeins from Pick of the Knitter like to mingle. You can catch them if you flick on the lights really fast.
Look at that! Wexford, Lindon, Carys, and Springvale all in one bin. That is a rare sight, indeed.
I do believe this could be the single best club shipment we’ve ever done. The yarn is fantastic, the extra treat is doubly fantastic, and the sock pattern is unbelievably awesomely fantastic.
Sign up for the class! Upload your project to Flickr! Look for clubs on your doorstep!
Thank you for at least pretending to pay attention.
This is my in case of emergency:
I have a well thought out plan. The studio has no windows, and all the doors are toward the front of the building. In case of a fire in the front of the studio, we could be trapped. If we are unable to make it through the flames, this will save us.
We will just chop a hole in the wall and escape. It’s brilliant.
I actually used this very tool to break into my own home when I was seven months pregnant.
I was locked out of the house. I was locked out of my car. It was 20 degrees outside. I had no coat. I was pregnant. The pregnant part bears repeating.
I would also like to further note that the child I was pregnant with weighed over ten and a half pounds at birth. Just to set the scene accurately.
I tried every door and window. Like a good homeowner, every entrance was locked. I couldn’t shimmy through a basement window even without my giant belly. Most of the other windows were too high off the ground for me to climb through. It was either the French patio door, the front door, or the back door. I went to the shed and got a crowbar.
I went for the French patio door, thinking it would be the least expensive to replace, and that I could just hit the lever-style doorknob off, reach in, and slide the door open.
No.
I succeeded in bending the doorknob, but still could not get in. I went back to the shed and found a hammer. I decided to try the back door, which had nine panes of glass separated by small pieces of wood. I hit the window over and over with the hammer, to no avail.
I went back to the shed and found this ax. I was getting desperate. I was crying and still pregnant and freezing and late for an appointment. And locked out.
I took a big swing at the back window with this ax. Nothing. I swung at that back window over thirty times. It was apparently made of shatterproof glass.
Never mind that my house was on a slight hill and that every neighbor in kingdom come could look right at me on top of that hill hitting the back door of her house mercilessly.
When the glass finally broke, it splintered into forty million tiny round shards, and I then had to use a hammer to clear out the little pieces of glass from the door frame. Excruciatingly, I discovered that there was a second pane of glass on the other side of the broken one.
Everyone should get one of these doors, they are nearly indestructible. A cold pregnant woman with an ax can’t break them.
By the time I finally was able to reach in and unlock the door, it was forty-five minutes later. My first call was to the midwife, whom I had kept waiting. I tried to explain that I was late because I had to break into my house with an ax, but gave up and just used the, “I was locked out” excuse instead. She was nice, mostly because I was crying, and because she dealt with crying pregnant women all day.
My second call was to my husband and work, where I had to inform him that I had taken this:
this yellow handled ax stored in the shed, and spent forty-five minutes smashing out the windows in our back door and damaging the handle on the patio door.
My husband is one of the good kinds of husbands.
His first words were, “Are you OK?” His second sentence was, “Don’t worry about anything, I’ll take care of it.”
I told you he was one of the good kinds. When he got home, he laughed. He took one of only two paths available to someone like him in a situation like that: you can find it funny, or you can be furious. He helped me clean up the 60,000 remaining shards of glass inside and outside that I had trouble getting to, he taped plastic up onto the door, and he went right to the Home Depot and bought a new window.
He didn’t say anything about the $400, I saw the receipt in his wallet. That’s because he’s one of the good kinds of husbands. By the way, he’s also the kind of husband who will go to Dairy Queen for you any time at all. And he rubs your feet, too. He also didn’t say anything about the $90 he had to spend replacing the special handle on the patio door.
Having been a woman on the brink of emotional breakdown, heavy with child, I can say with confidence that I will be able to wield this ax and escape to safety into the tea shop next door should there be a fire.
I also have one of these, just in case:
And some drain opener, because you never know when a slow drain might strike.
Everyone should get this Plan B set. I should sell this Plan B set. What am I thinking? Yarn? Forget it. PLAN B is hot for spring.
Day One as an FTY.
I don’t got no manicure.
Why waste the money, when this is what my arms look like?
I ain’t got no manicure, and I’ve got me a bad case of glove arm.
The dye collects where the gloves stop.
It’s attractive.
Guys dig it.
I’ll tell you what else I’ve got: another couple o’skeins for my inaugural CYSD stocking.
Lilypad.
I’ve been on a green kick lately.
What you don’t see here are the 420 million other skeins of yarn I dyed today. They’re purty.
Being an FTY is not good for the hair, or the skin, or the nails, or the clothes.
But it’s fun anyway.
Today marked the end of an important era in my life.
This is the desk I sat at for years as I planned lessons and graded papers.
This is where I made many Powerpoint presentations for my students, emailed parents, and typed up assignments.
Like many large American high schools today, teachers often have to share rooms because of space constraints. I taught in different classrooms during the day, but always had this office space to come back to.
This is where students could come find me to ask questions about the 14th amendment Due Process Clause or the roles of interest groups in American government.
This is where my colleagues would come to ask me a random question about the Great Lakes or synthetic motor oil or the middle name of Britney Spears’ younger son, and see if I knew the answer.
This is where I brought twelve years of teaching experience to the table, where I talked students down off emotional ledges, where I administered makeup tests, and just last week, where I informed a senior varsity basketball player that he wouldn’t be eligible for the rest of the season because he failed my Law class. Not every moment of teaching is triumphant.
This is where I came when I got up before sunrise each day, where I looked out the window and crossed my fingers that it would snow, where I shut the window when I discovered a hornet’s nest living in the eaves just outside.
This is where I laughed with my friends every day, where I played practical jokes, where I yelled, “NOT IT!” every time the phone rang.
This is where the papers piled up, where the student projects overtook my shelves, where I put my feet up while grading the 180th essay of the day.
This is much cleaner than it normally was.
This is what my office looked like after I finished cleaning it out today.
This is where I turned my head and swabbed at the tears beginning to form, pressing hard so they wouldn’t have time to run down my face.
This is where I hugged the 13 other members of my department, good friends, allies, and talents.
This is where I typed my leave form, letting my supervisors know that I would be taking a hiatus from the classroom at the end of the semester, when students change teachers anyway, and when the impact on my school would be minimal.
This is where I met with my replacement, handing over years and years worth of materials and hard work. Where I talked about how to teach the difference between fiscal and monetary policy.
This is where I said goodbye to an era, the era of High School Teacher.
This desk was my home for a good time, a good long time. This school was my home for more than half of my teaching years.
Today I am mourning the end of an era.
Tomorrow begins a new era, the era of Full Time Yarnista.
Today was hard, but tomorrow will be better.
Full Time Yarnista, I like the sound of that.
I dare you to make these.
Double dog dare you with whipped cream and cherries.
Behold, Carassius, the Socks of the Kissing Fish.
I will send a skein of yarn to the first person to make these and send me a picture of both completed socks. The colorway doesn’t matter, although I would recommend a light-medium solid or semi-solid. Beads or no, doesn’t matter.
They’re kissing goldfish, who wouldn’t want a pair of these? They could represent you and your sweetheart, they could represent you and your little one, they could represent your real life Carassiuses. (Carassi?)
Your time begins now: 8:37 pm on Sunday, January 24th. If you don’t already have a copy of this pattern (which is amazing, painstakingly edited, with charts and written instructions), you can get one here.
GO!
I need a higher purpose. I need to feel that I’m involved in something great.
Something like the Olympic games.
Just look at from whence I came:
I’ve overcome great adversity. All I need is a little guidance, a little push in the right direction.
All I need is to be adopted by the right family.
The winner is actually me. I am the winner for having such creative customers! Yay! I get the one of a kind skein of yarn!
Good night.
I am such an endless tease. I can’t help it. I was born teasing people. I can’t turn it off, I’ve tried. Well, I can turn it off when needed, but it makes me froth at the mouth slightly.
I’m going to start with the honorable mentions in the Name That Stocking contest. The honorable mentions will each get a $5 gift code to use on whatever they like in our store. 
Honorable Mention #1: Adopt a Skein. I love the ideas of all of these parentless yarn babies needing homes. Deb, I’m going to send you a gift code! Great idea!
Honorable Mention #2: Instock and Ready to Rock. Kristin, I love the way this trips off the tongue. It’s really fun to say: try it. I’m sending you a gift code too!
And now for the winners. I combined two ideas to come up with something I am tickled with. I really liked Jennifer and Victoria’s suggestions and decided on:
Carpe Yarnem: Seize the Dye
I’m excited! Great ideas, Jennifer and Victoria! Since I have two skeins from this batch, I will send one to each of you! I will also keep using exclamation marks! They convey emotion!
We will have our first Carpe Yarnem stocking soon. I will announce it ahead of time so you will be able to program the alarm on your cell phone.
Now, I’m going to get all motherly and lecture y’all for just a moment. I don’t want these stockings to turn into a competition and have everyone arrive with their claws out, hissing at each other.
Don’t make me turn these stockings around. I will then be left with no choice but to be creative all by my own self, and I’ll keep all the yarn for me. OK? OK?
OK.
Carpe Yarnem! Seize the Dye! Coming Soon! Exclamation Point!
However shall I choose?
There are too many funny and wonderful options!
I went through every single one of your suggestions and compiled a list of the possibilities.
Then I slept on it.
If you want the real truth, what really happened was that I went upstairs to label vast quantities of yarn while watching Project Runway, and then I fell asleep ten minutes later. (Don’t tell me who won. Seriously.)
But I do think it sounds better to say that I slept on this important decision.
When I woke up, I looked at my list again. Then I started Googling. I had to scratch off the names that I liked that were already taken by other people and books.
Then I bought a bunch of domain names.
Then I added a bunch of ridiculous stuff to this confirmation screen picture to amuse myself while I’m waiting for the coffee.
You wouldn’t begrudge an old Yarnista some Photoshop frivolity in the five minutes it takes for the coffee to brew, would you? I promise I will work every waking minute for the rest of the year.
I have it narrowed down to three different concepts. I will decide between them today! I will! I will!
Now I have to go finish labeling the vast quantity of yarn that is going to be shipped today.
Yarn is usually better when labeled, I’ve found. People prefer it that way.
I could just continue to sit here blathering on, or I could label yarn. You pick.
That’s what I thought, too.
See? Kindred spirits, you and me.
The contest is now closed, and I will make a decision soon, I promise! I am having a great time reading all of these.
In the meantime, here are some yarn pictures to tide you over:
Alpine Spruce:
Greener Pastures:
And Mountain Cathedrals:
February’s club picks!
So today, I was just
You know, like every other day. Sittin’ around. Doing nothing except rocking in the ol’ rocking chair and admiring the view.
And I thought to myself, “Self, you oughtta give away a skein of yarn.”
And then I answered myself.
I said, “Self, you are correct. I shall see to it at once.”
I love it when I listen to myself.
This skein is not just any old skein. It has magic in it, old magic. Creative magic. The magic of Creativity.
Sometimes the mood strikes me to make something new and different. I often have to ignore my friend Creativity, much to her chagrin.
But sometimes I can’t ignore her. She begs and stamps her foot and sticks out her lower lip. She beckons, and I am helpless but to follow.
This is a one of a kind colorway. It is part of a small dye lot, and can never, ever be recreated. I didn’t write down the recipe, I didn’t follow my usual methods, I just dumped and mixed and tasted until it was right.
Here’s what I’m thinking. Sometimes, I will let Creativity have her way. I will make special colorways that have never been seen before and will never be seen again. Colorways like this:
And once in a while, I’ll put this never-to-be-seen-again colorways up for sale, just for fun.
This will let me be creative and will let you get something extra special.
I already have about 25 special creative skeins ready to rock. Instock and ready to rock, just the way they should be.
But I want to have a name for these special stockings, so I can say, “Super Duper Creative Yarn Stocking Tomorrow!” or, “Wednesday will be a Special Spectacular Skein Stocking!”
This is where you and the giveaway meet. If you can give me a name that I like for these stockings, I will give you this skein of yarn:
It’s Adorn Sock. It will never be seen again after this Awesomely Amazing — or whatever I end up calling it — stocking that I’ll have in the near future.
Here are some ideas that I have so far:
Serendipity Skeins
Batch of the Day
Yarn du jour
Something along these lines. You leave a comment with a suggestion. If I pick yours, I’ll send you the yarn.
To clarify, this isn’t a suggestion for the name of the colorway, you’re suggesting a name for the ongoing series of stockings I have planned with one of a kind colorways.
I will take suggestions until 7:30 pm Eastern tomorrow, and will choose something tomorrow evening. Feel free to enter as many times as you like, I need all the help I can get.
Help! Creativity will wait for no woman!
Which is obviously not me.
But I do have the singular pleasure of being the Yarnista for a team of Knitting Olympics peeps, and I’m sure they have many Michael Phelpses competing with them. Never mind that these are the Winter Olympics and that Michael Phelps is a swimmer. Pretend that I’m painting an appropriate metaphor.
This is what they chose for me to make:
I like it. It’s subtle, with butterscotch, gray, white, and brown. It’s kettle dyed so the colors are all splotchy throughout the skeins. Splotchiness equals random color distribution when knitting. The lighting in my drying room is less than ideal, and Ms. Olympics was not pleased about being photographed under such circumstances. I assured her that I would take her picture after she was made up so you could see her in her prime.
She only agreed to have her pictures posted here if you all promised — pinky swear! — not to judge her by what she looks like right now. Wait until the stage lights are on and the medal is around her neck.
When I first agreed to participate, I didn’t know the Olympians would be so enthusiastic. One hundred and twenty five skeins later, these are being wound and labeled as we speak, and will be shipping to the Michael Phelpses of the knitting world later this week.
What shall I call Ms. Olympics on her label? She needs a name.